by Lisa Edwards, Ph.D | Oct 16, 2016 | Positive Psychology and Strengths |
Sometimes change comes easily and it is wonderful. Babies start sleeping through the night, moms start having a little more time for themselves, and partners begin to find more moments to enjoy each other’s company. Other types of change are not as positive: A child’s behavior has suddenly become challenging, a mom has started feeling anxious, or a relationship hits a rough spot. The extreme changes that we experience are, of course, the most difficult: losses of health, loved ones, connections, or important roles and opportunities in our lives.
The commonality in all of these, regardless of how they are experienced, is that they are changes and they reflect a natural part of our world. The Greek Philosopher Heraclitus said it best with his assertion that “No man ever steps in the same river twice.” In other words, life is flux, and all things change.
How we react to changes in our lives is certainly related to our well-being. If we go around expecting that things will stay the same, then we are constantly shocked and caught off-guard when they change. Similarly, if we resist the relatively minor changes that naturally happen, we experience tension and conflict within ourselves and in our relationships with others. And for those difficult changes that are the most painful, if we don’t utilize our internal and external resources we may not be able to even put one foot in front of the other each day.
As a mother, I often reflect on how I want my children to see that I handle change:
*Do I fight against the inevitable or do I try to flow with changes in life?
*Do I become so stuck in my routine that any change to the schedule throws me off?
*Do I show my kids how I embrace change, sometimes even finding humor and joy in the unexpected?
*When difficult changes happen, how do I seek and receive the support of others?
*How do I balance modeling my pain and grief with a mixture of adaptation, acceptance and hope for what lies ahead?
As we feel the transition to Fall, let’s consider how we can show our children that we handle the inevitability of change…
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by Lisa Edwards, Ph.D | Oct 6, 2016 | Maternal Mental Health |
Do you remember getting that wonderful glucose test for gestational diabetes when you were pregnant? Or perhaps you were one of the lucky ones (like me) who even got the follow-up test, where you drank the sugar solution and waited for hours to find out your glucose level?
These are routine tests we do for moms, and they can be beneficial for ensuring that mothers get the medical intervention they need for elevated levels of glucose. It’s important to keep in mind, though, that about 1 in 9 mothers develop gestational diabetes during pregnancy, in contrast to the startling statistic for moms related to perinatal depression and other mental health concerns: 1 in 7 mothers. So the chances are higher that a mother will develop perinatal depression than gestational diabetes, yet we have few protocols in place for screening and referrals to treatment for perinatal mental health concerns.
Given the negative effects of perinatal mental health concerns on mothers, their babies and partners, this is clearly a critical public health issue. What do we do in our country to address this serious issue? Unfortunately, not enough.
In the critically-acclaimed documentary Dark Side of the Full Moon, the real face of postpartum depression and the gaping holes in our healthcare system to address mothers’ perinatal mental health are painfully revealed. In this film you will see the experiences of mothers and their families who desperately needed help and didn’t get it. Either their practitioners didn’t ask how they were doing, the mothers didn’t feel comfortable to disclose how they were feeling, or the system was ill-equipped to deal with the mothers’ mental health concerns. In every case, the mothers and their families suffered…unnecessarily.
If you care about supporting moms and families you must see this movie. It will move you by the powerful stories and the filmmakers’ compelling quest to better understand postpartum depression in our country.* It will leave you feeling both angered and motivated, wondering how it’s possible that we don’t better support the future of our country and wondering what you can do. And perhaps this combination of anger and motivation will encourage you to think about how you can do more, on small and large levels. I know I am trying to figure that out myself, and I haven’t stopped thinking about this movie since I watched it.
So, please spread the word. Dark Side of the Full Moon is now available on iTunes.
If you are in the Milwaukee, WI area on Monday, October 10th, 2016, there will be a FREE screening of the film at Marquette University followed by a panel discussion of local professionals.
Click here to get more details and register for this event.
*Trigger warning: Please note that this film could be a trigger for mothers who have experienced perinatal depression and may not be appropriate for women who are pregnant or postpartum.
For more information about mental health during pregnancy and postpartum, check out these useful websites:
Postpartum Support International
http://www.postpartum.net/
Postpartum Progress
http://www.postpartumprogress.com/
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by Lisa Edwards, Ph.D | Sep 28, 2016 | Hope Notes for Moms |
Dear New Mom,
Let me guess: you haven’t slept, really slept, in days. You may have a hair or clothing accessory made from bodily fluids from your new bundle of joy. You may also be wondering “Is it supposed to be this hard? Maybe I’m going at this wrong…” Nope, you’re not! In fact, you’re probably doing a fantastic job – you’ll know you are when they smile at you or call you “Mama.” Talk to other Moms – laugh and cry at the challenges and craziness. Ask someone else to make dinner. Ignore the crumbs in your car/on the floor/in your bra. Live in the moment and hope for the future.
~A fellow mom from California
Need more hope? Click here.
Want to share some hope with another mom?
Send your brief, anonymous hope note to hopenotesformoms@gmail.com
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by Lisa Edwards, Ph.D | Aug 21, 2016 | Hope Notes for Moms |
Dear Fellow Mom,
I want you to know that being a human being will make you a better mom. You don’t have to be perfect. All it will teach your child is how to be a perfectionist. Motherhood is a physical and emotional marathon. You cannot grit your teeth through it; you need to breathe deeply and relax into it, and let it soften your heart and overwhelm you with joy and gratitude. You will have bad days and painful, tired tears. And when you watch your child finally make those steps across the WHOLE room into your arms, you won’t want your life any other way.
~A mom from the Midwest
Need more hope? Click here.
Want to share some hope with another mom?
Send your brief, anonymous hope note to hopenotesformoms@gmail.com
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by Lisa Edwards, Ph.D | Jul 1, 2016 | Hope Notes for Moms |
Dear Fellow Mom,
If you’re like me, you feel tired almost every day and there is rarely time to do something fun for yourself. Babysitters cost a lot of money and the weeks go by without trying anything outside of the daily routine.
Remember, we all need a night out. And sometimes, we should let loose. Wear uncomfortable shoes, order apps, a cocktail AND dessert, and laugh loudly with our friends. Just because we are moms doesn’t mean we can’t party anymore!
Love,
~A mom from New Mexico who still likes to have fun
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